Somewhere in a Little Tikes Climb & Slide Castle, Justin Bieber is holding a meeting with his lawyer Teddius Stuffington, Esq. to discuss last night’s on-point Saturday Night Live commercial spoofing those busted black and white Calvin Klein ads. “They’re just jealous haters. Can we sue them for being jealous haters? Think about it and get back to me – I want to watch Bubble Guppies before my nap.”
Because no one has gotten tired of laughing at Justin Bieber in his underoos trying to act like he just discovered his first pube, SNL put Kate McKinnon a pair of CKs, gave her a bunch of shitty tattoos, and let her drag him to hell. Seriously, I know we all joke about how perfect Kate McKinnon’s Bieber is, but that bitch does a better Bieber than Bieber himself. Justin, take notes – this is how you butch it up. Also, claps for Cecily Strong, who was able to totally nail Lara Stone’s “Do I seriously have to babysit this rugrat?” face.
“Yo, my pipi’s in there” might be the most Justin Bieber-y thing Justin Bieber has never said. And here’s some fun trivia for you: the rolled-up t-shirt Kate McKinnon used to stuff her crotch is the same one used on set by Justin Bieber to stuff his. NO! That’s not true at all. Kate used a much smaller rolled-up t-shirt.
But Kate McKinnon wasn’t the only one serving up “I’m not sure what I’m looking at” realness; Sia was the musical guest on last night’s episode of SNL, and it was all kinds of WTF. Sia has said before that she suffers from stage fright, so she performed wearing what looked like a pair of black frilly panties over her face while the Gummo girl from “Chandelier” danced around her. Later she was accompanied by a weird mime. Eh, still less disturbing than a filthy Shia LaBeouf in a pair of grimy beige underwear.